i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
