Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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