Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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