Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
