tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
