hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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