when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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