Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
