Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
