I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
