I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
