I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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