I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
