Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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