i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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