Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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