? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
