She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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