The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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