watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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