I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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