This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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