im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
