I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
