Will you blow on my dice?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Are we still banned from the library?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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