My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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