i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize