Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
