my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
