I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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