i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
