You're so nebulous sometimes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
