why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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