was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
