So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
