This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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