I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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