would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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