I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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