just come out here and I will go home with you...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize