I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
