I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
