She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We have started to decorate penises.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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