I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
