I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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