doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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