Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
