do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
