Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
