how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
