Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
