we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
