I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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