jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
