also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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