where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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