you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
