I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
