i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
