i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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