Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize