is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
